I've had the really awesome opportunity to see the church in North America in a lot of different communities. I gotten to travel through the Mid-west, spend some time in Montreal, Toronto, New Brunswick, and all the way down to Central America. Then of course there's the Bible belt here in Texas and we have our own brand of "hallelujah!" here. So i've gotten to meet a lot of really... interesting people. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, i just mean to say that when you're completely removed from any and all comfort zone, or familiar environments you get to see things more objectively.
Now i've been reprimanded for tattoos and "ear jewelry", i've been healed when i didn't realize i needed healing and been told that worship would've been much better if my guitar hadn't been making "those darn zippin' noises" the whole time. BUT i've also been met with unyielding hospitality, received words of confirmation and encouragement, and learned lessons in places i thought i was brought in to teach.
One lady stands out in mind as i'm writing. I was in a small church in Houston. We'd just finished leading the church in worship and i was meeting new people and thanking everybody for having us, when i saw her coming for me. We locked eyes for one second and the next she was right there in my personal space.
"Oh honey you're pregnant!"
"...Um... excuse me?"
"Yes dear, you're pregnant with the spirit, stop ignoring it."
"...I... uh... yes ma'am."
"oh dear look at me, i'm scaring you half to death here. I'm sorry, i get excited and lose all tact. Here's the thing though. I see you're pregnant with a great deal of healing and power, and believe that God wants you to realize it before you drown it out in the lights."
"..........."
"Thanks so much for visiting! We enjoyed it. 'Night!"
I had chalked that night up with the rest of the "crazies", but that woman's words have been on my heart lately. I came across a website that is trying an experiment. 60 days dedicated to improving one's communication with God. Post-it notes on the bathroom mirrors, watches set to beep every hour on the hour, and a thousand other little reminders to help improve our communication with God.
Spiritual Contraception.
I need just as much improvement in the this area as the worst of us, but something seriously bugged me about this for some reason, and after thinking about it long and hard i realized its the habitual nature of the thing. The idea of giving God a whole 60 days to form the habit in us of talking to him when our world is interrupted by a watch beep or a post-it note. And so the problem i think i see in us is a heart issue. As unhealthy and threatening to a thriving relationship with God as i think this experiment is, how do you teach a genuine desire to communicate with God. How do you teach a soul to grow short of breath when it hasn't heard it's makers voice. How do you avoid the "spiritual contraception" in actions that turn our response to God in to habit. How do you teach the actions of an adolescent Jesus who meets His heart-sick worried parents with "Why is it you've been looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be in my Fathers house?" (Luke 2:41-52) After they've been looking for Him for 3 days only to find Him with the elders in the church. Talking, learning.
"I had to be in my Father's house" Nurturing the pregnant will of God that was growing in Him. Not stifling it with habit out of responsibility, but growing it with devotion out of desire.
It's still a question i'm not sure i have the answer to. How do you teach desire? I don't know, but i've learned how to smother it. May our hearts be aware and sensitive to the habits we form, great though they may seem, that aren't born out of genuine desire.
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