I'm either a complete moron, or addicted to fantastically impossible poetic explanations for everyday questions... both are likely and at at least one is the reason i haven't blogged in a while. (By the way, i've appreciated the inquiries as to why i've been gone and the emails. I am flattered.)
Here's my issue... Logically, nothing that i feel like i've been created to do makes any sense. It's like i have this crazy voice in my head whispering dangerous advice as i try and just go about my day.
It starts small...
"Give that guy $20."
"Go back and tell him why you did."
"Start a conversation with the man who looks like he doesn't want to be bothered"
... And it gets bigger
"Reach out to that person... even if people will talk."
"Love that person... even if you'll be judged for it."
"Turn down that job offer for more money."
It got Huge
"... start a revival."
"Refuse those resources if it means it will compromise vision."
"Turn down the easy path for the one that makes your blood boil with purpose... even if you have to cut the path yourself."
You know i'm beginning to realize? I've been hearing this voice for a long time. But before when I heard it, it was easier to listen to. It was telling me things that calmed me and comforted me... so i called it the voice of God. Now that it tells me to do things for which i'll be ostracized -things that will require me to rely 100% on the assumption that God will He Himself have to step in and make things happen - things that are just plain crazy - well now i call the voice impulse and absurdity.
So i'm tired. I'm tired of ignoring the vision god gave me because people around me seem hesitant. God will will speak a word to them on their own time... and i'm going to move forward. Forward to what you ask? I. Have. No. Idea. But 5 minutes at time, i'll listen to the voice and, like a crazy person, i'll do whatever it tells me to. Because i'm more at peace in the midst of the chaos that ensues when i do than i am in the regret when i don't.
1 comment:
I thoroughly relate to the insanity of following God 5 minutes at a time, having no clue what comes at 5 minutes 1 second. But knowing, knowing without hesitation that He does.
You know I did at 17 what you have been tempted to do... put off His call until someone else hears it too. You know how much I regret that and how thankful I am that He called again.
You're never too young for a calling and thankfully, never too old for a destiny.
His promise to you is that if you consecrate yourself He will do the wonders! So really, God's the one that does the hard part!
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